Chapters
Books have always been a big part of my life. A good book will keep me up all night, continuously making me promise myself “just one more chapter.” Of course, there is always one more chapter. With each chapter, you are one step closer to the next part of the story. You are also one step further from the beginning of the story.
We are one week away from embarking on the next chapter of our family’s story. This means we are also one week away from the end of our current chapter.
This chapter began 11+ years ago when Jake and I began a life together. It was formalized a little over 8 years ago when we promised to be together for the rest of our time on Earth. But after many years, many countries, many jobs, and too many moves to count, this chapter is nearing its end.
We are gearing up and I am excited.
We are winding down and I am sad.
We’ve been the dynamic duo for a long time. Me and him, him and me. Us. We are good together. This part of our story has been eventful and exciting. Truly, it has been a beautiful time. We have had many more ups than downs, many more laughs than cries. I like this chapter.
I can’t wait to welcome Baby D into our ‘us.’ But, truthfully, I am mourning the end of this chapter. This is yet another bittersweet time in our adoption journey. We will never be able to go back to this chapter. It has been written.
It has gone too fast. And while I am looking forward to the next chapter, I am hoping that the last week of this chapter goes slowly, and that I am able to savor every minute of it.
Today I am thankful for happy endings and new beginnings. May we get to have them both.
We are one week away from embarking on the next chapter of our family’s story. This means we are also one week away from the end of our current chapter.
This chapter began 11+ years ago when Jake and I began a life together. It was formalized a little over 8 years ago when we promised to be together for the rest of our time on Earth. But after many years, many countries, many jobs, and too many moves to count, this chapter is nearing its end.
We are gearing up and I am excited.
We are winding down and I am sad.
We’ve been the dynamic duo for a long time. Me and him, him and me. Us. We are good together. This part of our story has been eventful and exciting. Truly, it has been a beautiful time. We have had many more ups than downs, many more laughs than cries. I like this chapter.
I can’t wait to welcome Baby D into our ‘us.’ But, truthfully, I am mourning the end of this chapter. This is yet another bittersweet time in our adoption journey. We will never be able to go back to this chapter. It has been written.
It has gone too fast. And while I am looking forward to the next chapter, I am hoping that the last week of this chapter goes slowly, and that I am able to savor every minute of it.
Today I am thankful for happy endings and new beginnings. May we get to have them both.
posted by More Dorrs at
6:00 AM
16 Comments:
One week!
So excited for you both. It is true that transitions in family life are bittersweet, brand new territory, but you'll be so blessed.
:). I am thankful that I can relate to your him &I, I & him paragraph. Love, J
Beka! We were feeling the SAME thing before we got our first referral. Except we were mourning the end of the three of us. We have a great system the three of us... we are happy...we flow nicely... we have loved it... we are the three amigos! (We've actually never called ourselves the three amigos, but it seemed fitting for my comment) :)
And now we are adding a sweet little 4th amigo. :) Which will be equally as amazing.
Thinking about you guys as you prepare to travel and start you new exciting chapter!!!! :)
I felt the same way, the very same way as I was nearing the end of my pregnancy. Enjoy this last week with Jakey and get all the sleep you can. Those little babies have a way of keeping you up...
Beka! i love your ablility to capture your thoughts and emotions in words! When i try to do that I sound like i"m 9!!! Do savor this last week as the 2 of you! It is priceless! BUT! This next chapter is priceless too! It will change you both in so many ways! Change you in good ways! You will learn more about yourselves, love and selflessness more than you ever knew possible! It is amazing! Can't wait for you! and can't wait to hang together in Ethiopia with our new little ones!!
Thats how I felt before Grace was born, and again before Gabe. And with Grace I actually had a bit of a meltdown. It's weird, a little sad but so exciting. Once he's home it's like you can't imagine life without him! (people say you can't remeber but you can- the difference is sleep- but it's worth it!:)
Wow, this post really hit me hard. I am holding back tears since I am at work. Thank you so much for this beautiful reminder. It is so easy to get caught up in wanting to hurry up through the process and become a family of three that I tend to forget to savor the moments as a family of two. Thank you.
Great post Beka. We felt the same way before Hayden came into the world. Life as the two of us was so much fun. We thouroughly enjoyed ourselves, had so many adventures and learned about life together. Built our foundation of our passions, beliefs, and desires for our future as a family. I can honestly say, adding a child to your journey is so fun. It brings out amazing things in your spouse that you may have never seen before, because they didn't have the opportunity to show it before. I fell in love with Matt in a whole new way when I watched him become a father. Watching him love another person so unconditionally melted me. Also in all honesty, it changes things. Not as easy to hop in the care and go the beach or the mountains. Not as many happy hours, or late movies with friends, but the trade off is fabulous.
absolutely, absolutely. The thing I miss most is being able to leave the house in the evening. I know it's shallow, but I would LOVE to see a movie. Also - no more grownup holidays for a long time. Totally worht the trade, but yes! Treasure this week!
I'm sure one part of your new chapter will be how much you fall completely in love with your husband in a new and wonderful way... when you see him be a father to your beautiful baby.
I know I loved my husband before we had babies, but something about that love deepened and grew more powerful than words can describe since then.
Have a wonderful week... this week AND next!
I totally get where you're coming from. We felt the same way before we brought Eli home, but if I'm being honest (and I am) Ben and I agree that this last year of life has been the sweetest!
Looking forward to seeing your family of three soon! Will be thinking about you guys as you're traveling to bring your little bambino home!
totally said this to steph husk right after ari was born. "mourning my old life." ok, granted, i was a little crazy in the head too, but i'm glad you are able to realize this before the babe enters. probably much more productive :) so excited to reciprocate the amazing and wonderful help you were during those days of adjustment! and, yes bek, i will be cleaning your toilet. -- j
i love hearing your perspective.
I feel like zach and i have done things backwards, because leah blew onto the scene quite quickly ;). so this is just really cool to read about. for me, kids drew us closer- we had to be a team, a unit of three. then four, now five :).
You are going to be such good parents. My advice would be to just roll with it... let your relationship change and evolve... it will be beautiful.
filled with joy for you...
b
I know exactly what you mean. I felt that way before I had both my sons and I feel that way now as we prepare to go to ET and get our daughter. We know the next phase will be wonderful, but you are right- it will never be the same as it is now ever again. As you said- part of the bittersweet.
Congrats on this new phase!!!
I know EXACTLY what you mean. This has been a fantastic chapter in our lives.
As a great book, a journey filled with such emotional terrain - your beautiful post captures this time for you and Jake perfectly.
Love, love, love to you THREE!
Cindy
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