Monthdays
When we were living in the Czech Republic, I went through a pretty major homesickness/culture shock/Ijustwannagohomerightnow phase. I hate to complain, because, hello?!!? – we lived in Europe! We had great jobs, a great flat and great friends. And we lived in Europe!
What really helped me get through that phase (which was much longer than I like to admit) was breaking up the time into shorter chunks. So, there was the ‘family is coming to visit for Christmas!’ chunk of wait. Then the ‘sister and brother-in-law are coming for mid semester break and we are going to Slovenia!’ chunk of wait. Following that was the ‘more family is coming for their spring break!’ chunk of wait. Next was the ‘weekend away in Venice!’ chunk of wait. Then the biggest chunk of all, the ‘we are moving home’ wait. There were no more chunks of wait after that.
What the heck does this have to do with adoption? I’m getting there, I promise.
We got our referral during the court closure, so we knew we would be waiting for a while before we passed court. When we first saw his face, he was 10 weeks old. Two and a half months of his life had already passed. We’ve now known of him for more than half of his life. He’ll soon reach 5 months of life.
We’ve been celebrating these months. Each month, on the day of his birth, we have been celebrating Baby D’s ‘Monthday.’ These are not elaborate celebrations, but a simple time for the two of us to be together and reflect on the blessing of this sweet boy’s life. We get pizza from our favorite place. We laugh. We talk about life. We look forward to the next month of life. We push aside any negative feelings and chose to be hopeful.
Just like when we were living in Czech, breaking up our wait for Baby D has helped me to make it through the wait. Celebrating these Monthdays seems to make the wait more manageable. All I have to do is make it to the next Monthday.
We’ll soon be celebrating our third Monthday since our referral. Our fourth Monthday falls after our next court date. He won’t be in our arms for that one either. But, fingers crossed, he’ll hopefully have a new last name.
What really helped me get through that phase (which was much longer than I like to admit) was breaking up the time into shorter chunks. So, there was the ‘family is coming to visit for Christmas!’ chunk of wait. Then the ‘sister and brother-in-law are coming for mid semester break and we are going to Slovenia!’ chunk of wait. Following that was the ‘more family is coming for their spring break!’ chunk of wait. Next was the ‘weekend away in Venice!’ chunk of wait. Then the biggest chunk of all, the ‘we are moving home’ wait. There were no more chunks of wait after that.
What the heck does this have to do with adoption? I’m getting there, I promise.
We got our referral during the court closure, so we knew we would be waiting for a while before we passed court. When we first saw his face, he was 10 weeks old. Two and a half months of his life had already passed. We’ve now known of him for more than half of his life. He’ll soon reach 5 months of life.
We’ve been celebrating these months. Each month, on the day of his birth, we have been celebrating Baby D’s ‘Monthday.’ These are not elaborate celebrations, but a simple time for the two of us to be together and reflect on the blessing of this sweet boy’s life. We get pizza from our favorite place. We laugh. We talk about life. We look forward to the next month of life. We push aside any negative feelings and chose to be hopeful.
Just like when we were living in Czech, breaking up our wait for Baby D has helped me to make it through the wait. Celebrating these Monthdays seems to make the wait more manageable. All I have to do is make it to the next Monthday.
We’ll soon be celebrating our third Monthday since our referral. Our fourth Monthday falls after our next court date. He won’t be in our arms for that one either. But, fingers crossed, he’ll hopefully have a new last name.
posted by More Dorrs at
10:16 AM
11 Comments:
Is his monthday the 15th?
Good job, Beks.
Beka, thank you for all of your wonderful comments on our blog. All of our very best wishes and prayers right back at you. God will protect your emotions and carry you through. I feel I will be counting Monthdays for the next 12 months.
If you have a care package you want us to take please let me know. My email is amygugger@yahoo.com and you can send me an email and i'll give you my address. i leave in 3 weeks (12/4). I'm also happy to take photos--not sure, can we send to you or do we have to send through the agency? Thank you again for everything. i hope to one day meet you guys and I know that this time waiting is hard....you will be there for your little guy sooner rather than later. I can tell from your blog, you will be the best mama yet! As i said my friend who also adopted from Ethiopia told me a few weeks ago, "The view from the top is so much better once you've traveled through the valley of darkness"....hang in there, your climb continues but i know you will do it!
goosebumps. You always give me goosebumps!
But the fifth monthday? That'll be the monthday that you celebrate as a family. Still eating pizza and reflecting on your lives. As a family of three.
Great post, greater attitude.
Ug... Hang in there. This is exactly what happened to us (except we had to wait until our son was 6 months). Anyway, they kept telling us tomorrow, or soon... the call will come! Hopefully Monday!!!
Sorry to hear about court, but know he is being so well cared for. He is so precious. The nannies kept saying "beautiful baby, beautiful baby" when I was taking his picture. :)
December 11th will come soon and you will see for yourself just how beautiful he is----
Pics and video coming soon.
I believe!! The next monthday he will be officially yours! I'm praying for you guys.
Your outlook is beautiful and enviable.
Cindy
Happy birthmonth, baby nephew boy. Love to you and your mama and papa.
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